Thriving Beyond

“Becoming pregnant is quite possibly one of the most mind-boggling experiences. However, being pregnant during a pandemic is an entirely different beast. I somehow found myself expecting a baby girl in the midst of a COVID world.

I work as a second-grade teacher and while our school is well-equipped and has the capacity to facilitate social distancing and regular hand-washing, I found myself walking into my classroom every day more nervous than the next. I was surrounded by well-intended children reaching out to hug their teacher or to find comfort. I often felt paralyzed with fear not wanting to hurt them or my unborn child. On a daily basis, I struggled with returning to work and prioritizing my health.

At the end of every school day, I would wave goodbye to my students unsure if I would see them the next day. I found it nearly impossible to plan lessons that were differentiated and intentional as I did in the past. The burden and the responsibility of maintaining the safety of children and myself became overwhelming. While my administrators advocated for teachers’ well-being and safety, it felt like an unspoken commitment. I had to keep up a façade and remain calm and positive while student facing. This felt like an impossible task. Every cough, sneeze and sniffle for my students had a debilitating echo.

There were days when I was nervous about taking my mask off in the classroom to drink water. I constantly thought about the long-term effects on my pregnancy. Each doctor visit that I got to hear the baby’s heartbeat felt like nothing short of a miracle.

When the vaccine became available for teachers and pregnant women, I was extremely hesitant due to the lack of safety and efficacy data. I felt like I was often back at square one, wondering if I would be hurting my baby. Finally, with the guidance of several infectious disease doctors and nurses, I made the decision to get vaccinated. And the truth is I still don’t know if I did the right thing.

I say all of this to simply say: since I became pregnant during the pandemic, I have prayed every day to hear my baby’s heartbeat or feel her kick. I feel nervous about the long-term effects both on my mental health and on my unborn child. I have never relied more on research, faith, and mindfulness.

On the last day of school, I waved goodbye to my students with a sigh of relief. We made it somehow.

I will be forever grateful that we were just lucky enough to have survived.”

-Sasha K, 6.21.2021